Paradigm, schmaradigm

Have you ever had God rock your world so hard it takes a few weeks to stop wobbling? I’ve pretty much been there for the past few weeks... New Year’s hit me hard this year. I REFUSE to allow 2011 to be the same as the past. I want ALL of what God has for me this year, and that means I have to change. All of my behaviors stem from my thinking which comes from what my heart holds as truth.

I feel like I’ve been living Romans 12:1&2 - not just believing it, but experiencing the gut-wrenching, heart rending truth of it. I don’t want my thoughts, ideologies, and worldview be just what I’ve learned and been taught by the world and the culture around me. I want them to reflect what I know to be truth - the Word of God.

I’ve been listening to a lot of podcasts from trusted pastors/teachers, reading books, reading the Word, and not doing a whole lot of talking (sorry for the blog silence). God certainly isn’t through with me yet, and I have no idea where the process is leading, I just know its somewhere new, somewhere better, somewhere closer to Jesus.

A truth I realized this morning as I was reading was this: true biblical repentance is transformation. Its not just being sorry, its not just feeling bad, its not just changing behaviors... it is changing how we think and perceive the world around us. Biblical repentance is 2 Cor 10:5 and Romans 12:1 & 2 all wrapped up together. We bring our thoughts under submission to Christ and then allow Him to transform them into His thoughts - which of course are higher than our own (Isaiah 55: 8 & 9) I want my ways and thoughts to be like His, not like mine...

So, that’s where I am; a little wobbly and unsteady, but on a better path than before.

Now, in case its a while before I get back here, here’s some links to what I’ve been listening & reading:

Perry Noble: NewSpring Church podcasts, leadership podcasts, and blog

Rich Dunn: Lighthouse Christian Center podcasts

Rick Rocco: Frontline Christian Church podcasts

Darrow Miller: Discipling Nations

YouVersion: New thru 30 (check out #NTx12 for all the details)

Randy Bohlender: twitter, facebook, blog

Hope all of these encourage you!

New Year...

*disclaimer - this blog is a bit philosophical, it is not meant to be a “downer” but perhaps thought provoking. If you only like happy “up” blogs, you may not want to continue reading. end of disclaimer*

New Years...

As a friend of mine wrote on her blog, I’m starting this year in a sober state of mine. I’m not depressed, according to the thesaurus I’m “serious, solemn, sensible, thoughtful, grave, somber, staid, levelheaded, businesslike, down-to-earth, commonsensical, pragmatic, conservative; unemotional, dispassionate, objective, matter-of-fact, no-nonsense, rational, logical, straightforward.”

After spending New Year’s Eve at church and returning home at 6am. I spent most of New Year’s Day in dreamland (try that if you’re married & have kids!) After getting up, I read for a while, and then went outside and sat on the lawn & thought deep thoughts like:

What do I want to accomplish in 2011?

What does God want me to accomplish in 2011?

Is there more to my life than I’m living right now?

Do I need to change my dreams because they’ll never happen?

What is fun? Why don’t I seem to have very much of it in my life?

How have I gotten to this place? Have I slept-walked through my life?

What does “Auld Lang Syne” really mean? (okay this one isn’t so deep, but if you wonder too, you can find the answer on this blog)

These and similar thoughts have been going through my mind ever since. Because of that, and other things, I’m slowly coming to the realization that indeed I am a grown-up and I’m not so sure I’m a fan of that. Mostly because it doesn’t measure up to my childhood dreams. Problem is, I can’t make those dreams happen, and so I have to live the life I have. But what does that mean?

I sure as heck don’t know. Thus my sober musings and my dilemma. I do have some goals for this year like:

• write my book & see if I can get it published
• complete my first term in Kenya
• have more speaking engagements
• read the New Testament every month (#NTx12)
• blog more consistently

2011 hopefully will be a year of accomplishments - in myself, in my job, and in my spiritual walk. Hopefully when I write a blogpost at the beginning of 2012, I’ll be rejoicing in completed goals, looking forward to the future, settled in myself, closer to Jesus.

May this year bring all to you that you are hoping for!